Be Still

We received troubling news about M a week ago. In order to protect her privacy, I won’t say more than we don’t know at this point if she will be able to come here for summer hosting.

Last Tuesday, I was not functioning very well. We had asked friends and family and fellow host parents to pray for M and for us, and I knew they were. But I could barely pray myself. I had no words of my own to pray. I was drowning in worry. After shuffling through the morning in a cloud of grief, I sent the girls to watch TV while I read Scripture in my bed.

These are the promises I know: we prayed Jeremiah 29:11-13 over M before she even came–”‘I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.’”

I prayed protection for her, peace for her, God’s plans for her. I know God was with me, but I felt nothing–just sadness and emptiness.

Wednesday night, I knew I needed to go to the prayer meeting at church. The message was on Psalm 46–Be still and know I am God. When Judah faced destruction by the Assyrian army, King Hezekiah prayed and cried out to God for help. And God sent out His angel who killed 185,000 Assyrian soldiers.

He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth.” Psalm 46:10

I went to the altar that night and left a huge burden and quite a bit of tears there. And the next night, I was at a Thirty-One party turned prayer meeting, where ladies I did not know–my sisters in Christ–prayed Jeremiah 29:11-13 for M. And when we were done, one lady shared, “Do you know Psalm 46? ‘Be still and know that I am God’?” Um, yes, I have heard a little bit about that Psalm last night…. “That is the first time the name Jehovah Sabaoth appears in Scripture,” she explained. “It literally means God of angel armies whose enemies melt before him.”

Saturday night, I went to the prayer meeting another church holds for 45 continuous hours one weekend a month. It was a precious, intimate time where I prayed for M and read through the story of God’s victory over the Assyrian army in the books of Isaiah, 2 Kings, and Psalm 46.

Sunday morning, tears stung my eyes throughout that service as well as we sang “God of angel armies, He is always by our side.” Pastor John preached on John 6, where Jesus feeds the 5,000. God reminded me that He anticipates our needs, He provides for our needs. His provision is individual and it precisely what we need.

We prayed before M came at Christmastime, and we prayed about whether or not we should host her again this summer. And we believed that God was telling us to walk in obedience through this open door. I know God has a plan for M’s life–a plan that will bring glory to His name. It is not a plan I can understand or comprehend. But the Lord has given me peace that passes all understanding throughout this situation. I know Who goes before me; I know Who stands behind. The God of angel armies–He’s always by my side! All I can do is BE STILL and let God fight the battle. May all glory and praise be to His holy name.